Slowly turning into my mom!

I have always seen Amma sitting on the sofa, looking at the photos in her phone gallery (the ones she has seen an umpteen times), and sipping tea. My brother and I always asked her, ” Enthina epozhum photo edukkunne? Nammal veetil nikkunna kolathil alle?”. We have also fought with her for this because she might be holding her phone, smiling, and capturing the moments while my brother and I were at each other’s throats and in several other similar situations.

Slowly, for the past two years, I started realising that I am turning into my amma. 

Daily Google and Snapchat memories make me excited!

Excited to look at the old memories and remember every single thing that happened.

Yes, I was always good with dates and memories, no matter how much someone might argue (That skill is not a boon). Imagine being able to tell someone all the details when you are telling a story, and in the exact order, “Ahaa kazhiv!” Ennokke Thonnundel, imagine remembering the bad days too in the exact same clarity.

I have always wished for a goldfish memory whenever I could, and I think my wish is slowly coming true because I have started forgetting things, too,o among many other things :)

My life a year ago was something I barely want to remember. If I could just remove the last few years from my life, I could, pakshe nammal vicharikkanath ellam nammak nadathi edukkan pattillaloo. But yes, I try to destroy every evidence I could of those years so that I don't accidentally stumble upon it and start refreshing my memories.

The past month has been life-changing for me. For the first time, I was living alone, had absolute zero life outside work, came home exhausted every day, and went straight to sleep skipping dinners, yet I felt some samadanam because finally my life is going somewhere. The past few years felt like a loop.

“Heart feels konjal lighter” - ith ayirunuu ente usual dialogue for the past one month. 

But during this past month, I realised that ethrayokee maravi vannu enn paranjal, when I see a random fit check or sunset or the pic from a restaurant in my Google memories, all the events of that day come flooding down…

Sangadam okkee vannalum, karanjalum, “nadannath ellam nallathinu” ennum ashvasich adutha divasathe karyam nokkum.

But yeah, certain things are a boon and a curse, and everybody starts appreciating both sides of those things, and maybe one day I will be happy with my sharp memory.

“You have a way with words, and I don't. You know how to talk about things and your feelings, I don't,” - he said 

Maybe I will start appreciating the good side of everything as I started seeing the good side of the previously mentioned dialogue that someone said to me, because in that situation I felt bad for having a way with words, and now, maybe not so much :)