Knowing Devika (Part-1)

Hey! Hi! I am Devika. I am so many things but today I choose to be categorised as a writer.

Ok. So, does anyone of you remember an Instagram trend where it says how you wish someone had a 30-sec trailer about themselves so you know what you are getting into?

I wish I had that!

Well, Not a trailer but maybe a manual?

The people who are in my life right now and those who love me know what I am talking about. I am pretty sure that they wished that this manual existed in some random library’s archive.

Obviously, when you meet a person,

The information you have about them can range from their name to any extent.

So, the same applies to that person too.

You are almost a stranger to him/her too.

That's why I “need” not “want” I NEED a manual written for me.

Something like a brochure I could give them showing all the sides of me.

Just putting all the dumb and crazy and also the nice things out in the open.

So, here are a few things I wish people already knew when they meet me.

• I notice SMALL things. I notice many minute details when I am interacting with someone because I am observing most of the time even when I am blabbering on and on. I want them to know how I will even notice their eyes flicker when they see something or someone. Or the way their body shift when they hear or see something. Or how they respond to many things. Basically just that I am like a surveillance camera with legs and a mouth. Just so that they can try not to hurt me in one way or another which may or may not lead to the next thing.

• I overthink.  Long story short. Even if someone's smile fades for a milli second while they are with me, I notice it and I overthink and this leads to my trust issues which is a result of this and many other past experiences

• Trust issues. Trust once broken is like a broken plate glued back together. Well, with me the glued back plate used to work just as fine, Not anymore tho. So, if You don't trust me or if I can't afford to trust you. Please stay away.

• Mutual Respect. Respect is something that should be earned and also shown to others if you receive it back. It is a two-way path which doesn't have any other rules and regulations. I believe in that. I also believe that a blood relationship isn't mandatory for just giving respect and NOT receiving it.

• My anger and mood swings. I can suppress my anger and be silent for a long time, but once I reach a specific limit, I won't be able to control myself. I will be yelling at you while talking at a high speed and reminding you of things from 8 years ago at one go. Oh! And tears might come and go in between too. I mean. It happens

• Anxiety. Anxiety attacks are no fun so I rather prefer you stay away and pretend you don't know me than be the cause of it in one way or another.

• I am the person who is labelled as “crazy” no matter what kind of relationship I have with someone. Family, friends, work friends, enemies…. Blah blah blah… I am the one labelled “crazy and dumb”. I am Crazy and Dumb. Denying the truth won't make it false BUT! I am fun, loving and also compassionate.

• I am someone whom you can expect to get a call from any time there is a minor convenience saying “This is it I am done!”. Well, you can also see me working hard and planning things when that phase ends.

• The last thing is! I hate people who says "ohh thanks okke enthina" (ohh!why are you saying thank you for this silly thing). I mean! My policy is that thank you's and sorry's should be said whenever and wherever needed.

So, in conclusion, I am a fun person who would even die for you (don't take it literally) if I love you and I get that you love me too.

That was the short version of the manual preferably titled “ Knowing Devika Part 1”

That is me signing off

With Love,

Devu ft. Sleepless nights